review: juice cleanse

Last week, my best friend Bri and I did a juice cleanse.

It wasn't fun.

We had been reading about juice cleanses all throughout the month of December as we knew we were getting fatter from the holidays and heard that doing a juice cleanse was a good, easy, clean way to lose weight.

It wasn't.

After a lot of research and the decision that we didn't want to spend $200+ on a pre-bottled juice cleanse (sorry, Blueprint!) we decided to do The Skinny Confidential's Version of the Juicer's 3-Day Cleanse.

It was a good idea in theory.

Overall, we both lost about 3 pounds. Which isn't bad for three days. However we were both drinking a lot more water than we were actually drinking justice (because the juice was gross) and we were working out aggressively. So honestly I think we just peed that three pounds out. But at the same time I'm don't know the correlation between the two so who knows?

Between the two of us we tried two separate ways of the cleanse - I ate a small meal of protein at night and Bri had a protein drink (she picked up three of the blueprint cleanse's protein/almond milk drinks) after all her other juices were gone.

We also drank a ton of water throughout the day with all of these juices. There were many times where we texted each other and were like 'I DON'T THINK MY STOMACH CAN HOLD THIS MUCH LIQUID" (and it probably couldn't which is why we peed so much out - but again, who knows?).

We followed the directions given on Lauryn's blog very closely. We went to the closest Whole Foods, charmed a lovely man behind the counter who found us a few old juice containers to bring our new juice home in and waited about an hour for him to chop up all of the veggies and do all of the juicing for our juice. It was painless and most likely the easiest part of the cleanse.

The next day we got up and started texting each other our thoughts on the juice.

Let's just say we weren't big fans.

Day 1 - tomatoes, celery, carrots, cucumbers, spinach, kale

Honestly, this juice was the worst. It was chunky, it tasted like a salad and, if I'm being honest with you, about half a glass went down the drain at the end of the day because I just couldn't drink anymore of this shit. It was that gross. I added a shit ton of lemon and water which helped even it out but there was still this smell to it that I couldn't get out of my nose and that didn't help either.

Oh, and don't put it over ice cubes. The green stuff cumulates on it and then you feel like you're drinking rabbit poop. Just put cold water in it if you want it colder. Please.

However, it definitely kept me full and I didn't finish my protein meal (which was, that night, baked chicken and boiled carrots) because I was just that full - which was very interesting to think about that juice could fill you up in that kind of way. 

Day 2 - spinach, kale, celery, ginger, apple

This juice was a bit better but I was still feeling kind of gross after yesterday's drink (and not because the drink itself was gross but because I hated the taste) so I still wasn't a big fan - but the apple taste helped more. But I forced all of this one down so that definitely says something about it. The only gross part was some of the green stuff would float to the top and I felt like I was drinking literal grass because of that. Which I guess isn't bad to some people.

But there was still a shit ton of lemon and water to even out the taste in this drink too. 

I ate a salad with some chicken and lots of spinach for my protein meal that night.

Day 3 - beets, celery, carrots, cucumber

Bri and I both agreed that this was definitely the best drink of the three. Beets are delicious and a juice made out of them was much more palatable than a juice made out of purely green stuff. Not as much lemon and water in this day and I definitely didn't feel gross when I drank it. A few ice cubes were also not as disgusting in this drink either. Thank goodness.

I ate chicken and boiled carrots again and it was delicious - though I was definitely the most hungry at the end of this day.

Post-cleanse thoughts:

Would you do a juice cleanse again?

Nope. Never. Ever. I would never do one again. While I understand the cleaning out aspect of a cleanse it wasn't worth it - I can lose three pounds cheaper and easier while just continuing to eat in the clean way that I do (paleo)

Would you recommend this cleanse though?

Yes. I really would. It was cheap, it was easy (no mailing!) and it wasn't hard to get my hands on. I am just not a big fan of vegetables in juice form - I'd rather eat them. However, it was cheap (I spent at the most $30 on this cleanse) and that's why it's more worth it (in my opinion) than the Blueprint Cleanse - you still get the benefits while being able to keep the money.

Would you recommend eating or staying to purely liquids?

While I only ate, my best friend did purely liquids. And, honestly, I'd say pick what you are most comfortable with. If you feel like you would go crazy without eating, then eat a small protein meal! If you feel like you'd cheat like crazy if you let one solid pass through your lips, then duh a liquid way is the way to go. Neither one will change your outcome - it will just make you feel more comfortable and thereby maximize your cleanse.

Feel free to email me with any questions! All of my friends in real life have been asking me questions all week so I promise no question is too weird (I had someone ask me specifically how many times I went to the bathroom - I promise your question won't be as weird as that!)